I hope this message finds you well. Today, I want to share a personal story with you—a story about dreams, courage, and the incredible power of taking action. It's a story that has been 40 years in the making and has brought me to the enchanting streets of Paris.
For as long as I can remember, Paris has been a dream of mine. It held a special place in my heart, an unspoken desire that whispered in my ear for decades. But as life went on, it became a "someday" dream—an elusive vision that seemed just out of reach.
It wasn't until recently, during one of my own transformative programs, that I had a moment of realization. I was encouraging others to turn their "someday" dreams into real dreams, and it hit me—I had a "someday" dream of my own. I wanted to live in Paris, and it was time to walk my talk.
I sat down with my husband and had a straight conversation. We asked ourselves, "Are we going to keep talking about this dream, or are we going to make it a reality?" With resounding determination, we set a date—May 1st. That was the day we would make our move.
We embarked on the journey of obtaining a visa, finding an apartment, and downsizing our life in New York to ensure our children had a place to stay during college. It was a whirlwind of excitement and anticipation. And on that fateful day, May 1st, we stepped off the plane and into a new chapter of our lives.
Now, living in Paris feels like a dream come true—a dream that surpasses anything I could have imagined. The beauty of the city, the exquisite food, the aroma of freshly brewed coffee, and even the intricately designed doorknobs—all of it fills me with awe and gratitude.
I often find myself pinching my arm, unable to believe that I have the privilege of calling this place home. The lifestyle, the cultural experiences, the vibrant energy that pulses through the streets—it's a constant reminder of the power of realizing our dreams vs chasing them.
I want to encourage you to reflect on your own dreams. What is your Paris? What is that one dream that has been lingering in the shadows, waiting to be brought to life? Take a moment to embrace it, to acknowledge its presence within you.
And remember, dreams are not meant to stay in the realm of "someday." They are meant to be acted on, nurtured, and transformed into tangible realities. Step out of the realm of "what if" and into the realm of "why not." Take that first action today, and watch as the reality conspires to support you.
As I write this letter to you from the heart of Paris, I want to remind you that dreams are worth acting on. They are the sparks that ignite our souls and lead us on incredible journeys. So, my friend, let's dare to dream and dare to take action. Together, let's create a life that exceeds our wildest imaginings.
Today, I want to talk about something that's often overlooked but holds incredible potential – pre-creation. It's a concept that can transform the way we navigate life's twists and turns, and I'm excited to delve into it with you.
Before we jump in, let's take a moment to acknowledge something crucial: awareness. Being aware that you're reacting is a significant step forward. It's like shining a light on a previously unexplored corner of your mind. However, awareness alone isn't enough to reshape your reality. Especially not in the heat of the moment.
Here's the catch – unless you pre-create an alternative road to walk down, you'll likely find yourself returning to the familiar path of reaction. Picture this: you have that moment of calm, you catch your breath, but without a new direction, you'll default back to reactive behaviors. So, how do we hack into this cycle?
TADA! Enter the idea of pre-creation. Think of it as crafting a new pathway before the old one takes over. It's similar to replacing an old habit with a new one. When you remove something from your life, you have to fill that void with something else. It's like creating a context for your actions IN ADVANCE.
So, what's your vision for the situation? What feeling or energy do you want to embody? Whether it's joy, empowerment, or anything else, that becomes the new pathway or new GAME as I like to say. Now, here's the game-changer: shift your focus to the actions aligned with that energy. Instead of irritation or annoyance, think, "What action would joy take right now?"
Here's the truth – neutral is a starting point, not a finish line. It's a pause, an empty canvas, waiting to be painted. The universe will not tolerate empty space; it craves movement, direction. The well-worn road of reaction is like a paved highway, while the road of creation is more like winding trails through a forest. It's on you to carve those trails.
I have a tattoo on my right arm that reads "abracadabra" – in ancient Aramaic, it means "with my word, I create." This is my reminder to actively create, to take charge of my reactions and weave them into a new narrative.
Picture it this way: you react, then you find your way back to calm through something like a deep breath. Now, instead of leaving the canvas blank, you actively choose what to paint on it. What are you creating? What action will you take based on your vision? However in the heat of the moment, if the muscle of creation isn't super strong, I find PRE-CREATING to be incredibly useful.
It's about acting on and coming from your intended energy. Inaction won't save the day; you must create and act to anchor your new pathway. Your reaction muscle might be strong now, but with practice, your creation muscle can become equally formidable.
So, as you journey through life, remember the magic of pre-creation. It's about sculpting your reality, taking charge of your canvas, and transforming reactions into intentional creations.
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where someone’s words don’t quite match their actions?
It’s a common challenge many of us face, whether it’s within personal relationships or professional interactions. The frustration and disappointment that often accompany unfulfilled promises can be disheartening. However, rather than opting to “cut them out of your life” or be resentful or annoyed, there are ways to address these situations constructively and cultivate stronger relationships.
1. Recognizing the Common Pattern: I’ve come to understand that not everyone maintains their word consistently. In truth, most individuals struggle with this at varying levels. Just as a muscle needs regular exercise to become stronger, the principle applies to the “muscle” of integrity when it comes to keeping one’s word.
2. Acknowledging My Reaction: When faced with someone who doesn’t honor their commitments, it’s natural to feel a mixture of disappointment and annoyance. Yet, instead of allowing these feelings to guide my reaction, I’ve learned to step back and consider the larger context. I recognize that their inability to keep their word might stem from an underdeveloped habit or lack of muscle memory.
3. Embracing Compassion and Development: Rather than instantly severing ties with those who fail to honor their word, I’ve begun embracing a more unmessablewith approach. I liken it to an opportunity to help them strengthen their integrity “muscle.” Just as anyone learning a new game or sport may stumble before gaining balance, people often need support to reinforce their commitment to their words.
4. Engaging in Constructive Communication: When confronted with someone repeatedly breaking their commitments, I’ve found that open conversation is far more effective than avoidance. I approach the conversation by highlighting the importance of a solid foundation in our relationship. I inquire if there’s anything we need to put in place so that when we say we will do something with each other it happens the way we created it, whether it involves reminder emails or alarms.
5. Holding Myself to the Same Standard: In any relationship, the commitment to one’s word isn’t a one way street. I believe in maintaining the same standards I expect from others. By setting an example of honoring my own commitments, I encourage a ripple effect that motivates others to do the same.
6. Building Reliability in Professional Settings: In business or professional interactions, commitment to promises is paramount. When commitments falter, I prioritize building a reliable foundation. I engage in discussions with counterparts, focusing on strategies that support each other in meeting commitments consistently. This proactive stance fosters trust and strengthens partnerships. When I am working with someone I manage and they repeatedly break promises or deadlines, I intervene quickly to see what support they may need to have real power with their word vs ending up with explanations for why things didn’t happen.
7. Choosing Empowerment Over Frustration: I’ve learned that this isn’t about one person versus another. It’s about nurturing a foundation of integrity in relationships. When dealing with broken promises (mine or someone else’s), I make a conscious choice not to succumb to frustration. Instead, I opt to empower everyone by collaborating to elevate our strength with our word and ultimately increase performance for all. Ultimately, my goal is to cultivate stronger connections and empower people to have their word be unmessablewith. By approaching such situations with empathy and a commitment to have everyone have power with their word no matter what, I can enable people to develop an unmessablewith word.
Just like a muscle, consistent exercise and effort can reshape the way people honor their words, leading to saying x and doing x which leads to high performance, fulfillment, peace of mind and an overall GAME ON-ness that impacts the quality of everyday life.
If you want to develop having your WORD be UNMESSABLEWITH take advantage of my free promise game to give you a glimpse into a life by design vs default!
Today, I want to dive into the power of conversations and how they shape our culture—whether it's within a company, a family, or even an entire country. Conversations are the building blocks of our culture, and they hold tremendous influence over our beliefs, actions, and perspectives.
Think about it. In any organization or community you've been a part of, the conversations that take place shape the culture that emerges. The topics discussed, the language used, and the ideas exchanged all contribute to creating a shared reality. It's through these conversations that values, norms, and expectations are established.
The same principle applies to our families. Within the intimate realm of our households, conversations play a pivotal role in shaping our beliefs about gender roles, family dynamics, and personal identities. The conversations we engage in with our parents, siblings, and loved ones create the context within which we understand ourselves and relate to others.
Even at a broader level, conversations shape the culture of a country. The collective discussions, debates, and narratives that emerge in society influence the way people think, act, and relate to one another. They shape the norms and values that guide our behaviors and decisions.
Recognizing the power of conversations allows us to become more intentional about the culture we create. It invites us to explore the conversations we participate in and the impact they have on our lives and those around us. By cultivating conversations that are inclusive, empowering, and growth-oriented, we can shape a culture that fosters collaboration, innovation, and personal development.
As we navigate our own journeys of personal growth and fulfillment, let's be mindful of the conversations we engage in. Let's seek out conversations that uplift, inspire, and challenge us to expand our perspectives. And let's remember that we have the power to contribute to the creation of a culture that reflects our values and aspirations.
I invite you to reflect on the conversations that have shaped your own life and the cultures you've been a part of. How have these conversations influenced your beliefs, actions, and sense of self? And how can you intentionally contribute to creating conversations that foster a culture of growth and possibility?
Together, let's harness the transformative power of language and create a culture of being unmessablewith vs a culture of survival or reaction or adaptation.
To hear more about Culture click below on my podcast interview with Marissa Andrada:
Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.