Do you ever notice that when people react, you often react to their reaction? This creates a world of reactions and a very "messablewith moment" for you both.
It's common to fall into the trap of reacting to other people's reactions. The issue is that when someone gets hooked by your reaction, they take their focus off what they're dealing with and start dealing with your reaction instead. This can lead to confusion and misunderstandings, especially when there's already tension in the air.
As an example, jealousy If your partner questions you about talking to someone or looking at someone and you get defensive, accusing them of not trusting you, it only makes the situation worse. This is an example of you reacting to their reaction. In this scenario, your partner is no longer dealing with their jealousy; they are dealing with your accusation of mistrust. Instead of reacting to their reaction, DON'T TAKE THE BAIT!
See if you can practice providing a calm space and a rational response. Let them react as they will, and answer their questions without adding more fuel to the fire. Don't give them something to deal with; let them deal with their reaction versus your reaction to their reaction. WOW, thats a lot of reactions, huh?
Remember, you may not have a say over someone else's reactions, but you have THE SAY over whether you react to them.
So, practice not taking the bait, which only sends you into the world of being messablewith, and see the difference it can make in the quality of our interactions with those around us. Being unmessablewith™ takes practice. GAME ON!
Do you want to be more creative? The pathway to creation is completion.
Imagine you are an artist, and every time you start a new painting, the canvas is already filled with stuff. This might impede your freedom to create anything if something is already there. Sometimes people do not tend to the world of completion in their lives and then wonder why it takes more effort to create.
Every time you complete a task, such as paying monthly bills, doing laundry, or finishing a client proposal, you create space for what's next. The more you complete things, the more space you have to create.
During one of my one-on-one client coaching sessions, a client told me that they never seem to get everything done that they intend to during the week. I asserted to them that they were not operating as though their life depended on completing what they said they would. They agreed. And while it may not be as dramatic as your life being on the line, your creativity is on the line in a very real way. So now what? How do you start playing the completion game?
If you do it for two weeks, you will ignite the creative juices.
If you do it for a month, you will exponentially increase the space you have to create, and you will notice a significant shift in the quality of your experience of life, yourself, and what you are up to.
If you are interested in developing a way to use your calendar to support what you are creating, try my YOUR CALENDAR AS YOUR CREATION mini workshop.
Many of us set goals at the beginning of the year, such as going to the gym, increasing our business, reducing our expenses, or finding true love. It is helpful to periodically check on our progress and see where we are and where we're heading.
The method I use is to assess each goal in relation to reality, which involves the following steps:
To summarize the steps:
NEVER leave actions in your memory, get them in your calendar, always.
Recently I was working with one of my one on one coaching clients and he was talking about how complex certain areas he was dealing with were. After a bit of conversation, we saw that the area itself was not complex but rather he liked having things be complicated so he could exercise his brain.
It can be rewarding to have things be complicated puzzles to figure out so that you have a sense of intellectual accomplishment. However, what is it costing?
One thing we saw together is that while it exercised his brain it literally STOPPED his action, which ultimately cost him the results he said he was committed to. Given results are a function of action, period. All that' brain exercise', while stimulating, wasn't producing the results he was committed to.
I often run into people saying they are stuck in analysis paralysis. I see this term as a version of making things complex so as NOT to act. Usually it is not a conscious act on their part; it is a blind spot that we as human beings run into.
Here are a few simple steps to get yourself out of 'analysis paralysis' and into 'action Jackson'.
Start shifting from 'Analysis Paralysis' to 'Action Jackson' in the areas of life you are committed to producing results in.
Thinking produces thoughts.
Overthinking produces conflicting thoughts.
ACTION produces results. Period.