THE ART OF BEING UNMESSABLEWITH
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Begin your "Unmessablewith™" Journey today and sign up to get "Unmessablewith™" tips and strategies.

Do you ever feel stuck?

6/5/2023

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Do you ever feel stuck? Have you considered that your pictures are the bars of your prison?

When I work with individuals to help them become unmessablewith, no matter what life throws at them, one crucial aspect we address is identifying what currently messes with them.

Invariably, one factor that messes with people is their fixed ideas or expectations of how things "should" be, how people "should" be, or how they "should" behave.

When you have a rigid picture of how someone or something should be, their true essence and reality are missed because your perception is filtered through that picture. Your experience of them becomes distorted by your preconceived notions. Consequently, you never truly connect with who they really are or what is actually happening.

For example, if you believe your partner should spend more time with you, you may overlook or fail to appreciate the time they do spend with you because it doesn't align with the picture in your mind of how much time it "should" be. This confines you within a prison of expectations, preventing you from embracing the present reality. Instead of experiencing freedom, joy, and authentic expression in your relationship, you feel limited and constrained, much like a prisoner.

By recognizing your pictures for what they are—mere mental constructs and not reality—you can shift your perspective. Rather than measuring everything against an idealized picture, you can choose to be fully present with your partner, appreciating the time you do spend together. This liberates you from the confines of your pictures and allows for the possibility of creating something new. You cannot create on top of an existing picture; you can only compare. Creation requires setting your pictures aside, creating a space of emptiness from which you can generate new possibilities.

The next time you feel trapped, constrained, or stuck, consider that there may be a picture influencing your perception, coloring your experience.

Once you identify the picture, you can redirect your focus and approach situations with a fresh perspective, free from the limitations of preconceived notions. Simply be there, present with the person or situation, without the filter of your pictures or expectations.
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I encourage you to give it a try and discover for yourself what unfolds. I'd love to hear about your personal insights and discoveries.
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Save The Date To Move From Fear To Freedom Regarding Money

5/29/2023

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Picture a life where you feel empowered, in control, and free from financial worries. Imagine saying goodbye to overwhelming anxiety and stress when it comes to your finances. It's time to turn that vision into a reality.
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SAVE THE DATE for a one-hour FREE workshop with Josselyne Herman-Saccio, Robin Quivers and Tyrone Jackson
"BEING UNMESSABLEWITH MONEY: Move from Fear to Freedom."
June 28th 7:30pm - 8:30pm Eastern​
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I have teamed up with two of my favorite people, Tyrone Jackson, a Master Trading/Investment Coach who has empowered thousands to create residual income and shift their money mindset and Robin Quivers, a media icon and money mentor who has personally moved from fear to freedom when it comes to finances. Together, we have created this gift for you to have a mindset shift and Move from Fear to Freedom when it comes to money.
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There is no charge but space is limited so save the date and save your spot.
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Pushing Through vs Creating Anew

5/22/2023

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Do you get "messablewith" with overwhelming emotions and states of being.

Most people, when faced with difficult emotions such as sadness, anger, or annoyance, try to Push Through these feelings to get things done. However, this approach never really resolves the original state of being, and often leads to more stress and frustration. Layers of reaction to your initial reaction. A very deep hole.

So, what's the alternative? The next time you feel some sort of way, try a different approach by following these steps so as to Create Anew:
  1. Notice the experience: Take a moment to acknowledge the emotion or state of being. Are you sad, angry, or irritated?
  2. Notice where in your body you're experiencing this state of being: Take a deep breath and feel where the emotion is physically manifesting in your body.
  3. Take a big breath in and imagine breathing the body sensations in toward you: Breathe in and imagine bringing the sensations of the emotion toward you.
  4. Breathe out and imagine breathing the experience away from you: Breathe out and imagine releasing the emotion from your body.
  5. Let the state of being settle or be there however it is: Allow the emotion to be present without trying to change it or push it away.
  6. Look at an object in front of you: Choose an object, such as a glass, computer, or pen, and put all your attention on that thing out there. (notice if there is a shift in your state of being)
  7. Look up and ask yourself what state of being you're creating right now: (i.e. being at peace, settled, or focused)
By following these steps, you can learn to move from the world of reaction to the world of creation, or the world of being messablewith to the world of being unmessablewith.
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Remember, it's okay to feel your emotions - the key is to move to CREATION from REACTION faster and faster.
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There is No Magic In Management

5/15/2023

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Recently I recorded a podcast with my friend and former client Lianna Nielson.

​There were a lot of juicy nuggets in the conversation so I wanted to send it to you to soak up.
Enjoy!
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Croissant anyone?

5/8/2023

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I hope this newsletter finds you well. You may or may not already know this but, I have some exciting news to share with you. After 40 long years of dreaming about it, I have finally moved to Paris! It's hard to believe that this day has finally arrived, and I wanted to take a moment to reflect on the journey that brought me here.

​To be honest, there were many times when I didn't think moving to Paris was possible or realistic. I had all kinds of reasons why it wouldn't work. I worried about my kids. I was concerned about my parents and how far away I would be from them. I wondered how I could possibly run my business from Paris, and I was scared about the cost of living in such a beautiful city.

Furthermore, my husband and I weren't sure if we were ready for him to stop working, and we didn't think we could afford it. We also worried about what other people would think if we left everything behind to pursue our dream.

But then, something shifted. I was coaching people on disappearing someday and realized I was not walking my talk!

That is when I remembered a quote from George Bernard Shaw that said, "The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man." I realized that if I kept waiting for the perfect time, I would never make my dream a reality. I decided to be unreasonable and commit to making it happen, no matter what life threw at me to deal with.

Once I made that commitment, everything started to fall into place. I found resources that I didn't even know existed, and I discovered that it was possible to run my business 100% remotely. My husband and I worked out a plan that allowed him to take 6 months off, and we found an affordable, AMAZING apartment that was perfect for our needs. (It even has an "office.")

All of these obstacles that once seemed insurmountable are now simply items to take action on. And by committing to my dream, I exercised the muscle of being unmessablewith. I attracted the resources and opportunities I needed to make my dream a reality and took the actions needed to fulfill the dream instead of simply dreaming the dream.

So, if you have a "someday" dream that you keep putting off, I encourage you to take the first step and make a promise to yourself and to someone else that you will make it happen (with a by when date). Yes, there will be "messablewith" moments along the way, but if you continue to act from your dream instead of your reasons or considerations, the fulfillment is a done deal.
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Overwhelm is optional

5/1/2023

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Do you ever feel overwhelmed with the number of tasks you have to complete on a daily basis? Do you find yourself constantly exhausted and drained at the end of the day? If so, then it may be time for you to consider doing an action-energy-result audit.

​Just as a food diary can help you understand your eating habits and their impact on your nutrition, an action-energy-result audit can help you understand your actions and their impact on your productivity and energy levels. By tracking your actions in 30-minute increments, you can gain insight into what tasks are taking up your time and whether they are producing the results you desire.

To help you get started, I have included a sample tracking spreadsheet that you can use to fill in the blanks easily. Simply list the actions you are taking and the results those actions are producing. After one week, take a look at the past week and see what you notice. Are you spending more time than you realize on things that drain your energy? What time of day might be better for certain tasks? Are you doing things that give you energy, and how often?

This action audit can provide you with valuable insight into the source of any overwhelm you may be experiencing. By identifying tasks that drain your energy and those that give you energy, you can make better use of your time and improve your overall productivity.
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I encourage you to take the time to complete this action audit and see the positive impact it can have on your daily life. You deserve to feel energized and productive, and this audit can help you achieve just that.
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Don't Take The Bait

4/24/2023

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Do you ever notice that when people react, you often react to their reaction? This creates a world of reactions and a very "messablewith moment" for you both.

It's common to fall into the trap of reacting to other people's reactions. The issue is that when someone gets hooked by your reaction, they take their focus off what they're dealing with and start dealing with your reaction instead. This can lead to confusion and misunderstandings, especially when there's already tension in the air.

As an example, jealousy If your partner questions you about talking to someone or looking at someone and you get defensive, accusing them of not trusting you, it only makes the situation worse. This is an example of you reacting to their reaction. In this scenario, your partner is no longer dealing with their jealousy; they are dealing with your accusation of mistrust. Instead of reacting to their reaction, DON'T TAKE THE BAIT!

See if you can practice providing a calm space and a rational response. Let them react as they will, and answer their questions without adding more fuel to the fire. Don't give them something to deal with; let them deal with their reaction versus your reaction to their reaction. WOW, thats a lot of reactions, huh?

Remember, you may not have a say over someone else's reactions, but you have THE SAY over whether you react to them.
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So, practice not taking the bait, which only sends you into the world of being messablewith, and see the difference it can make in the quality of our interactions with those around us. Being unmessablewith™ takes practice. GAME ON!
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Do You Want to Be More Creative?

4/17/2023

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Do you want to be more creative? The pathway to creation is completion.
Imagine you are an artist, and every time you start a new painting, the canvas is already filled with stuff. This might impede your freedom to create anything if something is already there. Sometimes people do not tend to the world of completion in their lives and then wonder why it takes more effort to create.
Every time you complete a task, such as paying monthly bills, doing laundry, or finishing a client proposal, you create space for what's next. The more you complete things, the more space you have to create.
During one of my one-on-one client coaching sessions, a client told me that they never seem to get everything done that they intend to during the week. I asserted to them that they were not operating as though their life depended on completing what they said they would. They agreed. And while it may not be as dramatic as your life being on the line, your creativity is on the line in a very real way. So now what? How do you start playing the completion game?
  1. Stop using to-do lists for a month. Only interact with to-dos if they are located in your actual calendar.
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  2. Be clear about when something will be (or needs to be) complete, and ask yourself if you have scheduled enough occasions to actually complete what needs to be done to declare the task done or complete.
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  3. Schedule things inside a game of completion. When you put "work on taxes" in your calendar, you may end up spending an hour "working" on your taxes instead of completing them.
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  4. At the same time each day, ask yourself, "What is incomplete?" and then schedule occasions to do what needs to be done to have those items be complete.
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If you do this for a week, you will notice a noticeable difference in your energy.
If you do it for two weeks, you will ignite the creative juices.
If you do it for a month, you will exponentially increase the space you have to create, and you will notice a significant shift in the quality of your experience of life, yourself, and what you are up to.
If you are interested in developing a way to use your calendar to support what you are creating, try my YOUR CALENDAR AS YOUR CREATION mini workshop.
Click here for the calendar workshop
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Retain, Revise or Retire Your Goals

4/10/2023

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Many of us set goals at the beginning of the year, such as going to the gym, increasing our business, reducing our expenses, or finding true love. It is helpful to periodically check on our progress and see where we are and where we're heading.

The method I use is to assess each goal in relation to reality, which involves the following steps:
  1. Determine the results produced so far in this goal area. For example, if my goal was to lose 20lbs this year, how much weight have I lost? If my goal was to increase my business by 15%, what percentage increase (or lack thereof) have I achieved so far?
  2. Identify the actions or inactions that led to the current results.
  3. Decide whether to retain, revise, or retire the goal. For instance, if I've already lost 20lbs, I can retire the goal. If I've lost 15lbs and it's only April, I may revise the goal to be 30lbs. I might also revise the deadline, such as revising my goal from losing 20lbs by Dec 1 to losing 20lbs by May 15.
  4. Determine the actions required to achieve the goal or revised goal.
  5. Identify the inactions that might hinder achieving the goal and avoid them.
  6. Schedule the actions in my calendar immediately to increase the likelihood of completing them. It's important to never rely on memory to complete tasks; always schedule them in your calendar.

To summarize the steps:
  1. Assess progress in relation to reality.
  2. Identify actions or inactions that led to current results.
  3. Decide whether to retain, revise, or retire the goal.
  4. Determine the required actions to achieve the goal or revised goal.
  5. Identify and avoid any hindering inactions.
  6. Schedule the actions in your calendar.

NEVER leave actions in your memory, get them in your calendar, always.
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More on using your calendar to create you life
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Are You Dealing with Analysis Paralysis?

4/3/2023

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Recently I was working with one of my one on one coaching clients and he was talking about how complex certain areas he was dealing with were. After a bit of conversation, we saw that the area itself was not complex but rather he liked having things be complicated so he could exercise his brain.
It can be rewarding to have things be complicated puzzles to figure out so that you have a sense of intellectual accomplishment. However, what is it costing?

One thing we saw together is that while it exercised his brain it literally STOPPED his action, which ultimately cost him the results he said he was committed to. Given results are a function of action, period. All that' brain exercise', while stimulating, wasn't producing the results he was committed to.
I often run into people saying they are stuck in analysis paralysis. I see this term as a version of making things complex so as NOT to act. Usually it is not a conscious act on their part; it is a blind spot that we as human beings run into.

Here are a few simple steps to get yourself out of 'analysis paralysis' and into 'action Jackson'.
  1. Notice areas, situations, relationships or circumstances in your life that seem complex or complicated.
  2. See if you can identify if they are situations, relationships or circumstances by asking yourself, 'What is actually happening here? What am I actually dealing with?
  3. Ask yourself, what am I committed to in this area, situation, relationship or circumstance?
  4. What action can I take that would forward that result being produced?
  5. TAKE THE ACTION JACKSON!

Start shifting from 'Analysis Paralysis' to 'Action Jackson' in the areas of life you are committed to producing results in.

Thinking produces thoughts.

Overthinking produces conflicting thoughts.

​ACTION produces results. Period.
For more ways to develop your unmessablewith muscle click here
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