The Art of Being Unmessablewith: To be or NOT to be UNMESSABLEWITH

The urban dictionary defines 'unmessable' as: The quality of being able to stand in the face of any circumstance and not be thrown off course.

Being "unmessable with": someone who can generate possibility with anyone at anytime under any circumstance.

"Unmessable with-ness": the quality of being unstoppable in the face of no agreement, able to turn lemons into lemonade.

Being UNMESSABLEWITH is not about having perfect circumstances but rather, who you are in the face of the real circumstances life throws at you.

Being able to create possibility and make a difference under any circumstance, with anyone at any time, and never lose who you are is what I call being UNMESSABLEWITH.

Wouldn't we all like to be UN-MESSABLEWWITH? Well, it is possible and accessible if you develop yourself to BE UNMESSABLEWITH. A simple initial access to the world of UNMESSABLEWITHNESS is to follow these simple steps.

- First, get clear about what you are committed to. What is it you 'stand for' in a particular situation? It might be compassion. It may be peace. It may be justice or equity. Or, it may be simply being loving. Whatever you 'stand for' is your access to UNMESSABLEWITHNESS.

- Second, make a list of things that you know would throw you off course. A powerful way to be unmessablewith is to identify that which predictably "messes" with you. It may be if/when someone disagrees with you or criticizes you. It may be if/when someone says no to you or makes fun of you. Whatever "messes" with you...get it on paper. Getting it on paper gives you the ability to not be blindsided by it if/when it happens.

- When faced with a situation that throws you...notice you have been thrown and immediately ask yourself, what do I stand for? Reconnecting with what you 'stand for' enables you to bounce back in the face of those buttons that may have been pushed.

- Then ask yourself, What actions would fulfill what I 'stand for' right now? And take them or schedule them in your calendar immediately.

I consider myself someone who practices being UNMESSABLEWITH regularly, but recently I got ’thrown’ in a business dealing. A client of mine wanted to break her contract, and I didn't see it coming. I was blindsided. For a day I was upset, stressed and lost sleep because I took it personally and went through a mental picture of "how much I had done for her", "how could she?", etc. I noticed I was being 'messable-with' and asked myself, "What do I stand for regarding this relationship and my contracts?"

The answer was simple, integrity, accountability and honor.

In a moment all the stress I had been experiencing disappeared and my actions became natural and obvious, being guided by what I stood for. (i.e. replying to her emailing promptly, drafting a termination agreement and continuing to honor my obligations all the while).

In an instant I was UNMESSABLEWITH again and my dealings with her have been a demonstration of integrity, accountability and honor.

So remember ask yourself:
1. What do I stand for?
2. What is messing with me right now?
3. What do I stand for? (your stand is the most powerful entry point to being unmessablewith)
​4. What actions can I take that would fulfill what I stand for? (Take them or schedule them NOW)

​Your stand is your access to the world of being UNMESSABLEWITH, right now, and right now, and right now.