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Today, I want to talk about something that's often overlooked but holds incredible potential – pre-creation. It's a concept that can transform the way we navigate life's twists and turns, and I'm excited to delve into it with you. Before we jump in, let's take a moment to acknowledge something crucial: awareness. Being aware that you're reacting is a significant step forward. It's like shining a light on a previously unexplored corner of your mind. However, awareness alone isn't enough to reshape your reality. Especially not in the heat of the moment. Here's the catch – unless you pre-create an alternative road to walk down, you'll likely find yourself returning to the familiar path of reaction. Picture this: you have that moment of calm, you catch your breath, but without a new direction, you'll default back to reactive behaviors. So, how do we hack into this cycle? TADA! Enter the idea of pre-creation. Think of it as crafting a new pathway before the old one takes over. It's similar to replacing an old habit with a new one. When you remove something from your life, you have to fill that void with something else. It's like creating a context for your actions IN ADVANCE. So, what's your vision for the situation? What feeling or energy do you want to embody? Whether it's joy, empowerment, or anything else, that becomes the new pathway or new GAME as I like to say. Now, here's the game-changer: shift your focus to the actions aligned with that energy. Instead of irritation or annoyance, think, "What action would joy take right now?" Here's the truth – neutral is a starting point, not a finish line. It's a pause, an empty canvas, waiting to be painted. The universe will not tolerate empty space; it craves movement, direction. The well-worn road of reaction is like a paved highway, while the road of creation is more like winding trails through a forest. It's on you to carve those trails. I have a tattoo on my right arm that reads "abracadabra" – in ancient Aramaic, it means "with my word, I create." This is my reminder to actively create, to take charge of my reactions and weave them into a new narrative. Picture it this way: you react, then you find your way back to calm through something like a deep breath. Now, instead of leaving the canvas blank, you actively choose what to paint on it. What are you creating? What action will you take based on your vision? However in the heat of the moment, if the muscle of creation isn't super strong, I find PRE-CREATING to be incredibly useful. It's about acting on and coming from your intended energy. Inaction won't save the day; you must create and act to anchor your new pathway. Your reaction muscle might be strong now, but with practice, your creation muscle can become equally formidable. So, as you journey through life, remember the magic of pre-creation. It's about sculpting your reality, taking charge of your canvas, and transforming reactions into intentional creations.
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Have you ever found yourself in a situation where someone’s words don’t quite match their actions?
It’s a common challenge many of us face, whether it’s within personal relationships or professional interactions. The frustration and disappointment that often accompany unfulfilled promises can be disheartening. However, rather than opting to “cut them out of your life” or be resentful or annoyed, there are ways to address these situations constructively and cultivate stronger relationships. 1. Recognizing the Common Pattern: I’ve come to understand that not everyone maintains their word consistently. In truth, most individuals struggle with this at varying levels. Just as a muscle needs regular exercise to become stronger, the principle applies to the “muscle” of integrity when it comes to keeping one’s word. 2. Acknowledging My Reaction: When faced with someone who doesn’t honor their commitments, it’s natural to feel a mixture of disappointment and annoyance. Yet, instead of allowing these feelings to guide my reaction, I’ve learned to step back and consider the larger context. I recognize that their inability to keep their word might stem from an underdeveloped habit or lack of muscle memory. 3. Embracing Compassion and Development: Rather than instantly severing ties with those who fail to honor their word, I’ve begun embracing a more unmessablewith approach. I liken it to an opportunity to help them strengthen their integrity “muscle.” Just as anyone learning a new game or sport may stumble before gaining balance, people often need support to reinforce their commitment to their words. 4. Engaging in Constructive Communication: When confronted with someone repeatedly breaking their commitments, I’ve found that open conversation is far more effective than avoidance. I approach the conversation by highlighting the importance of a solid foundation in our relationship. I inquire if there’s anything we need to put in place so that when we say we will do something with each other it happens the way we created it, whether it involves reminder emails or alarms. 5. Holding Myself to the Same Standard: In any relationship, the commitment to one’s word isn’t a one way street. I believe in maintaining the same standards I expect from others. By setting an example of honoring my own commitments, I encourage a ripple effect that motivates others to do the same. 6. Building Reliability in Professional Settings: In business or professional interactions, commitment to promises is paramount. When commitments falter, I prioritize building a reliable foundation. I engage in discussions with counterparts, focusing on strategies that support each other in meeting commitments consistently. This proactive stance fosters trust and strengthens partnerships. When I am working with someone I manage and they repeatedly break promises or deadlines, I intervene quickly to see what support they may need to have real power with their word vs ending up with explanations for why things didn’t happen. 7. Choosing Empowerment Over Frustration: I’ve learned that this isn’t about one person versus another. It’s about nurturing a foundation of integrity in relationships. When dealing with broken promises (mine or someone else’s), I make a conscious choice not to succumb to frustration. Instead, I opt to empower everyone by collaborating to elevate our strength with our word and ultimately increase performance for all. Ultimately, my goal is to cultivate stronger connections and empower people to have their word be unmessablewith. By approaching such situations with empathy and a commitment to have everyone have power with their word no matter what, I can enable people to develop an unmessablewith word. Just like a muscle, consistent exercise and effort can reshape the way people honor their words, leading to saying x and doing x which leads to high performance, fulfillment, peace of mind and an overall GAME ON-ness that impacts the quality of everyday life. If you want to develop having your WORD be UNMESSABLEWITH take advantage of my free promise game to give you a glimpse into a life by design vs default! Today, I want to dive into the power of conversations and how they shape our culture—whether it's within a company, a family, or even an entire country. Conversations are the building blocks of our culture, and they hold tremendous influence over our beliefs, actions, and perspectives. Think about it. In any organization or community you've been a part of, the conversations that take place shape the culture that emerges. The topics discussed, the language used, and the ideas exchanged all contribute to creating a shared reality. It's through these conversations that values, norms, and expectations are established. The same principle applies to our families. Within the intimate realm of our households, conversations play a pivotal role in shaping our beliefs about gender roles, family dynamics, and personal identities. The conversations we engage in with our parents, siblings, and loved ones create the context within which we understand ourselves and relate to others. Even at a broader level, conversations shape the culture of a country. The collective discussions, debates, and narratives that emerge in society influence the way people think, act, and relate to one another. They shape the norms and values that guide our behaviors and decisions. Recognizing the power of conversations allows us to become more intentional about the culture we create. It invites us to explore the conversations we participate in and the impact they have on our lives and those around us. By cultivating conversations that are inclusive, empowering, and growth-oriented, we can shape a culture that fosters collaboration, innovation, and personal development. As we navigate our own journeys of personal growth and fulfillment, let's be mindful of the conversations we engage in. Let's seek out conversations that uplift, inspire, and challenge us to expand our perspectives. And let's remember that we have the power to contribute to the creation of a culture that reflects our values and aspirations. I invite you to reflect on the conversations that have shaped your own life and the cultures you've been a part of. How have these conversations influenced your beliefs, actions, and sense of self? And how can you intentionally contribute to creating conversations that foster a culture of growth and possibility? Together, let's harness the transformative power of language and create a culture of being unmessablewith vs a culture of survival or reaction or adaptation. To hear more about Culture click below on my podcast interview with Marissa Andrada: I want to share a personal story with you, one that shaped my journey towards empowering others to fulfill their dreams. It all started when I was just a little girl, dreaming of becoming a pop singer. I would sing my heart out to anyone or anything that would listen, from my stuffed animals to my faithful dog.
But then, at the age of five, I had a pivotal moment in the car with my dad. He had been a painter and I noticed that he had stopped painting, a passion of his, and I innocently asked him why. That's when he uttered those words that echoed in my mind, "You can't do your art as your career." In that instant, I said to myself “YOU CAN’T DO YOUR ART AS YOUR CAREER” I internalized this as my truth, and my dream of pursuing a career in music shifted to an impossibility. As I grew older, I observed the struggles of starving artists around me, and I gathered more evidence to support the notion that pursuing art as a career was impractical. It became my self-imposed limitation, and I accepted it as reality. But then, everything changed when I attended a transformative workshop in my early twenties. It was there that I began to question my deeply ingrained belief and realized that it was just that—a belief, not an absolute truth. I opened myself up to the idea that there were people out there successfully making a living through their art. With that newfound perspective, I shattered the limitations that had held me back for so long. I took courageous actions aligned with my true passion for singing. And within a remarkably short period, I secured a record deal. It was pure magic, a testament to the power of stepping out of our beliefs and stepping into our dreams. From that moment on, I embarked on a mission to empower others to pursue their dreams and develop themselves to be unmessablewith. By "unmessablewith," I mean being able to maintain unwavering focus on their vision, regardless of external circumstances or limiting beliefs. It's not about being tough or suppressing emotions—it's about staying centered and taking actions from a space of creation rather than reaction. My journey has taught me that when we dare to challenge our self-imposed limitations, when we choose to act on the possibility of our dreams, and take bold steps towards their realization, magic happens. So let me ask you, what dream have you set aside? What limiting beliefs are holding you back? It's time to challenge them, to embrace a new lens through which anything is possible. Remember, you have the power to rewrite your story, to unleash your full potential, and to live the life of your dreams NOW vs SOMEDAY. Email me one of your someday dreams that has fallen into the shadows. I would love to hear from you. Until next week! Here is a glimpse of my dream come true when I stepped out of my limiting beliefs! Words can be very powerful. Words can go beyond describing the world but actually they can create worlds.
I wanted to share a little story with you today about how a simple word transformed my perspective and became a guiding principle in my life. It all started in the early 90’s. During a phone conversation with one of my mentors, he casually mentioned the word "messable with." It was just a passing comment, but something about that phrase resonated deeply within me. It captured the essence of what I had been striving for—being able to stay true to what I was creating no matter what life threw at me, no matter who I was interacting with, no matter what circumstances I was dealing with. That moment sparked a fire within me, and I instantly knew that "unmessablewith" was the phrase I had been searching for. It encapsulated the “space” I had been pointing to. A space of being able to create and fulfill any dream, unshakable, unhookable, undauntable, in the face of ANYTHING. It became my “word”. I was so captivated by the power of this word that I couldn't help but build an entire world around it. I got it recognized in the urban dictionary, and I began creating merchandise like mugs, t-shirts, pens, and wristbands—all proudly bearing the words "unmessablewith." It was my way of sharing this empowering concept with others and inviting them to embrace and develop their own “unmessablewithness”. Being "unmessablewith" doesn't mean being invincible or unaffected by life's ups and downs. It means having the inner fortitude to rise above circumstances, to stay true to your vision and purpose, and to navigate challenges with grace and resilience. It's about reclaiming your power and creating your own narrative moment to moment. Now, I invite you to reflect on your own journey. Are there moments when you have felt "messablewith"? Have there been instances where external influences or negative self-talk have affected your belief in yourself and your abilities? Take a moment to acknowledge those moments, for it is in telling the truth that we can find the power to transcend. Embracing the world of being "unmessablewith" is a powerful shift in context and therefore perspective. It empowers us to take ownership of our lives and become the creators of our own experience, now and now and now. Remember, you have within you the strength, resilience, and unwavering spirit to be truly "unmessablewith." Embrace it, develop it, and watch as it transforms your life in extraordinary ways. I LOVE promises. I use my promises to create my life on a daily basis.
If you think about it, promising is like a magic wand. When you promise something, it is brought into existence in the moment of promising. If I promise you I will meet you for coffee on Tuesday at 10am, ABRACADABRA, there is a coffee date in the future (namely Tuesday at 10am) that didn’t exist a moment prior. That is magical to me. Your word can actually be your wand, but not only with creating coffee dates. (Although coffee IS one of my favorite things.) I wanted to share something fascinating with you about the power of promises and the energetic shift they create in our lives. It's truly remarkable how a simple promise can transform the energy around us and shape the future we experience. Imagine for a moment that your energy is reflected in your body posture. When you're feeling down or low, your shoulders slump, your head droops, and the energy around you feels heavy. On the other hand, when you're feeling uplifted and joyful, your posture is upright, your energy is vibrant, and you radiate positivity. Now, consider the role of your word and a promise in this energetic equation. A promise is a powerful act of creation. It's like you're conjuring a future that wouldn't have existed otherwise. It's as if you're saying, "I commit to bringing this experience into existence." For instance, when you promise to bring joy to yourself and others, you're setting an intention in the form of your word, that shapes the energy around you. Instead of passively waiting for life to happen, you're actively creating and influencing the world you inhabit. It's a shift from being at the effect of circumstances to being the creator of yours and other people’s experience of any circumstance. What's even more fascinating is that when you consistently fulfill a promise, it becomes a practice. It becomes ingrained in your being, your acting and your energy naturally aligns with the intention behind the promise. Joy becomes your default state, and you create that energy in all that you do. So, my invitation to you is to explore the incredible power of promises and the energetic shift they bring. Start by making promises aligned with the experiences you want to create in your life. Whether it's joy, love, abundance, or any other quality, let your promises serve as the guiding light that shapes your reality. As you honor your promises and infuse them with consistent action, you'll witness the energetic transformation taking place within you and in your interactions with others. Embrace the practice of promises and watch as your life unfolds with newfound purpose, intention, and joy. Remember, you have the ability to create and shape your reality. Harness the power of promises and let your energy become a force for positive transformation in your life and the lives of those around you. Here is my GIFT FOR YOU! MY FREE 5 DAY PROMISE GAME TO USE YOUR WORD AS YOUR WAND! https://www.theartofbeingunmessablewith.com/promise-game.html Today, I want to share with you a glimpse into the transformative work I do with individuals. One of the key elements I focus on is helping people get clear about their vision. It's astonishing how many individuals are not truly clear about what they want in life. They find themselves caught up in the daily grind, constantly reacting to whatever life throws their way. Their focus becomes managing the present instead of looking up and out towards their dreams for their business, family, and community.
By crafting a clear vision, we create a powerful place to come from and fulfill on. Once the vision is established, what naturally arises are all the things that mess with us—fears, worries, limiting beliefs, negative self-talk, and even certain people or reactions that hinder our ability to forward our dreams and goals. These are the things we dissect and dismantle together. During our coaching sessions, I guide individuals to explore what gets in the way of their vision. We identify the sources of those limitations and work towards shifting from a reactive mindset to one of creation. It's not a difficult process to uncover what messes with people. These challenges tend to reveal themselves quite readily. We examine them in all areas of life, not just in a specific moment. But it doesn't stop at identifying what holds us back. We develop tangible strategies and actionable steps to address and overcome these obstacles. It's crucial that the work we do is practical and accessible, going beyond mere concepts and into real-life application. After all, knowing what messes with us is only the beginning. The true transformation happens when we take that knowledge and put it into action. The ultimate goal is to build the muscle of creation and unmessablewithness. Together, we exercise that muscle, which may have been neglected or atrophied over time. We focus on staying in the realm of creation rather than getting caught in the endless cycle of reaction and survival. So my question to you is WHAT IS YOUR VISION? WHAT DO YOU REALLY WANT? And then ask yourself what messes with you in taking the actions needed to fulfill that vision. That's the starting point. We all know that taking action is essential because without it, we can't expect to see results, right? However, it's important to reflect on the source of our actions. Have you ever found yourself caught in a cycle of taking action after action, feeling like you're spinning your wheels without making real progress? I can certainly relate, and I'm sure you can too. I recently had the privilege of working with a coaching client who was suffering from job burnout. He was a representative at a juice company, essentially selling juice. But he had reached a point where he dreaded going to work, started cutting corners, and felt overwhelmed by the whole situation. He was trapped in a world of negativity and wondered why he even chose to be in such an environment. Together, we embarked on a journey to dismantle the challenges he faced at work. We delved into his true motivations and explored his dreamsource (there is a link to my TED TALK where I distinguish DREAMSOURCE down below)—the deeper reason behind his choices. We discovered that his ultimate commitment was to people's wellbeing. He wanted to leave a positive impact on others and provide them with access to improved health and wellness. By re-discovering his dreamsource, it completely shifted the context he was functioning in at work. This shift in context was transformative for him. Instead of viewing his job as a mere paycheck, he began seeing it as an opportunity to contribute to people's wellbeing. The same job, but with a new lens and purpose. This shift in context breathed new life into his work. His entire experience transformed, and he became three times more effective and productive in his sales. The context is decisive, as the saying goes. By altering the context, we can bring new life and meaning to any situation. A shift in the context changes our perception and experience. Context is a linguistic phenomenon that allows us to shape our reality. You have the power to alter the context of any situation in your life. By shifting your perspective, you can uncover new possibilities and unlock hidden potential. It's not about changing the external circumstances, but rather transforming the way you perceive and approach them. As you navigate your own journey to be "unmessablewith", I encourage you to reflect on the context in which you're operating. Are there areas where you feel stuck or drained? Take a moment to connect with your dreamsource—the deeper purpose that fuels your actions. Aligning your actions with your true intentions can bring a profound sense of fulfillment and drive. Remember, action is crucial, but the source of your action is equally important. When you approach life with a new context, one that aligns with your true desires and aspirations, you'll experience a renewed sense of purpose and joy. Stay tuned for future newsletters where we'll continue exploring empowering strategies, insights, and success stories in being "unmessablewith". If you have any questions or need support along the way, feel free to reach out. Together, let's continue creating lives that are truly "unmessablewith." Let's delve into the profound impact of community and how it enhances our pursuit of BEING UNMESSABLEWITH. In a world that often glorifies solitude as a symbol of strength, I am always reminded that true empowerment lies in building connections with like-minded individuals who inspire, support, and challenge us. By nurturing these relationships, we create a network of trusted allies who not only understand our journey but are also ready to provide guidance, lend a helping hand, or simply be there to listen when we need it the most.
[Building Strong Connections] At times, it may be tempting to believe that BEING UNMESSABLEWITH means standing alone, forging ahead without assistance or reliance on others. However, the truth is that our strength and Unmessablewithness is amplified when we surround ourselves with a community that shares our values and aspirations. Together, we can achieve so much more than what would be possible in isolation. Within a community, we find a safe space to express our thoughts, dreams, and fears. We discover people who have faced similar challenges and can offer valuable insights. These connections allow us to broaden our perspective, gain new knowledge, and tap into the collective wisdom of those who have walked a similar path. [Inspiration and Support] One of the greatest gifts of a community is the inspiration it provides. By interacting with individuals who are pursuing their own goals and dreams, we fuel our motivation to push beyond our limits and strive for greatness. We witness the accomplishments of others and realize that if they can do it, so can we. Moreover, a community serves as an unwavering support system during both the highs and lows of our journey. When we encounter obstacles or face setbacks, or "Messablewith Moments", these allies offer encouragement, empathy, and practical advice. Their presence reminds us that we are not alone in our struggles, and that we can lean on them for support when needed. [The Freedom to Explore] Ironically, it is within the embrace of a supportive community that we find the true freedom to explore our unmessablewithness. Knowing that we have a safety net of individuals who genuinely have our back, grants us the confidence to take risks and venture into new territories. We can experiment, grow, and learn from our experiences, secure in the knowledge that our community will be there to catch us if we stumble. By fostering an environment of trust, respect, and collaboration, we create a space where independence can flourish. It is through the collective efforts of a community that we unlock our full potential and achieve the extraordinary. [Wrapping it up] As we reflect on the power of community, let us remember that BEING UNMESSABLEWITH does not mean forsaking connections but rather cultivating meaningful relationships. By surrounding ourselves with individuals who inspire, support, and challenge us, we build a network of trusted allies who are essential to our growth and success. Embrace the strength that comes from nurturing these connections and continue to forge ahead, together as an UNMESSABLEWITH COMMUNITY! Wishing you an unmessablewith and interconnected journey ahead! What My Grandmother Taught Me About Creating a Life I Love I used to be scared of my grandmother. When I was little, I thought she was mean, and I was frightened of her. I had an ideal of being a good granddaughter, so I would call her on the phone every couple of months and ask how she was doing, and she would say, "How would you know? You never call." Through the lens of "she's mean," "you never call" sounded like more of the same. I thought she IS mean. One day, I realized that "she is mean" is just one possible lens I could use to view my grandmother. It occurred to me that the issue might be the lens itself, not the person I am viewing through that lens. Here's what I did to change my perspective: 💥 I separated reality from the lens: The reality was that my grandma said, "You never call me." My lens had the color of her being mean and scary. 💥 I got clear on what I was committed to: I was committed to creating a loving relationship with my grandmother. 💥 I took some time to create a few possible alternate lenses: Door #1: Everything my grandmother says means she loves me. Door #2: My grandmother has had a tough life. Door #3: My grandmother is very direct. Here's what happened next: I put on my new "created" lens and I called my grandmother. I said, "How are you?" and as she did in the past, she said, "How would you know? You never call me?" Here's the magic part: through the lens of "my grandmother loves me," "you never call me" sounded VERY different. I then said, "You are right, I haven't called you in a while. How are you?" Suddenly, everything from the past disappeared, and she said, "I'm fine. How are you?" Abracadabra, a new relationship was born. 💥I then scheduled time in my calendar every week to call my grandmother, and we spoke every week, sometimes 3-5 times a week. When she passed away 15 years later, she was my best friend. When I did these four things: 💥 Separated reality from the lens 💥 Got clear on what I was committed to 💥 Created a few possible alternate lenses 💥 Scheduled time in my calendar to take actions to fulfill what I was creating I was able to let go of my default lens for my grandma and create a delicious, loving relationship with her. These four things can be applied to any area of your life. My grandmother went from scary to precious in one conversation. It was pure magic.  |
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